Brief Update (AKA "Not Dead")

Semi-apologies for the potential depressitivity of my previous post. Been in a weird place lately, but while this morning I am again somewhat wandering the glum-lands, for the most part I've been pretty damn chipper and optimistic this past week. We will see how long that can hold out in the face of French Existentialism. Emotional resilience! Constant vigilance! Etc.!

Of course, I vowed with the start of the semester to be superEXTRAproductive this time, no really, it's seriously going to happen. Got all (most?) of my stuff organized, and then promptly spent my (long!) weekend entirely on socializing and shenanigans with excellent friends. Even better than productivity, in my opinion. Also, the most wholesome game of Twister I've ever played.

Classes are all promising, and I'm gearing up for a semester as a Supernerd. Dante! French! French Existentialism! Intensive Writing! First task: Master (or at least meet in passing?) French pronunciation. Then on to tackling my writing-stential angst. Break.

Survived another semester, my second to last. This was accomplished, I think, mainly by my becoming more self-dependent/others-avoidant. I have more or less withdrawn into my own little fuzzy stress-bubble of a world, especially in the last few weeks of class, with only a dribble of mutters as my line of communication with the outside world. Honestly, except for the whole stress thing, it was great.

But now that everyone is switching into winter break mode (or winter intersession mode, for my masochistic friends), I am getting dragged out of my shell, out to lunches and hang-outs and bars where I buy drinks I really can't afford. And now that the Boy is back from quaint BFE, I am torn between spending constant nights in with him and fulfilling both my and his social obligations in the outside world. Again, not that bad of a situation, except now I'm spending way too much going-out money when I am now more or less on a fixed income (i.e., no income).

Also on the pro-side and the con-side of my current situation: I have so. much. time. So much. Big, amorphous blobs of time, floating about, smacking me in the face with their gratuitous presence. Yay, I mean, this is what I quit my job for, right? Unfortunately, me being what I am, I mostly just plaster these hours and hours of time with excessive (and I do mean excessive) amounts of sleep. As in, not-wake-up-until-the-sun-is-going-down sleep. It's getting to be kind of a grotesque situation.  I broke out of the rut today by waking up "early" (before noon) to go have lunch with a friend... then came home and went back to sleep. Ok, it's a problem.

So with one month left of the winter holiday, I am going to do something. Preferably several things. No list of goals this time around, at least not yet. But thanks to my new buddy Pintrest, I can give some vague idea of, well, ideas that I like. (See also tasty things that I like, most of which I think are within my realm of ability.) So basically I intend to root around in crafty things, make some motion towards working out, and devour on the cheap some tasty, tasty things. There are worse plans, right?

Though I had my doubts, but I know it now

So, with much shamefacedness, I must slink back without a substantive update... but in my defense, immediately after I posted last, the internet in my house died and has yet to be resurrected. This of course does not necessarily prevent me from going to some place like, say a coffee shop to participate in the World Wide Web, but my time management skills, as one might easily notice, are less than stellar. Plus the temptation to continuously consume $5 lattes for the duration of my stay would inevitably prove to be overwhelming. Anyway, the lack of internet has more or less kept me away from my laptop completely, so the promised last round of pictures hasn't even been sorted through yet. (On the plus side, my house is pretty damn clean and I've read probably a dozen books in the past month... gotta find something to do to procrastinate)

However, as expected, my schedule is gradually working itself out and firming up... now all I have to do is find four-plus extra hours a week or so to do the stuff I want to do.

I really need to take less naps.

Anyway, for a window into my life, my TO-DO list for this evening (post-3:30 PM):
-go to bank
-buy running/work-out shoes (current pair has literally been worn through, possibly on all sides)
-translate Psalms 5 & 6 from Old English to Today English
-make tasty breakfast hashbrown mini-casseroles (we'll see how this goes...)
-visit cousin-friend (and get a blender!)
-write a verse of poetry


If I can get 3+ of these things done, I am doing pretty well. Aim high, right?


OH, almost forgot to mention that I saw Bright Eyes in concert last night. Amazing. I have seen Conor Oberst before, touring on his solo stuff (also fantastic), but this was Bright Eyes itself, reaching al the way back to Fevers and Mirrors, aka into the most formative years of my life. Still incredibly moving for me. Incredibly glad for the chance to see them (though no touching of Conor Oberst this time...damn), as this might be the last time they tour as a band. I just wished indie kids danced more... people in that crowd (the amount of black plastic-framed glasses, my god) clearly felt very strongly about Conor/Bright Eyes, but the most they did was bob their heads and shuffle their feet, maybe throw up a hand once in a while. Oh well. Conor Oberst had enough energy for all of them, twirling like a madman and vigorously chucking "his iPhone" to the ground and stomping it into oblivion. The exhaustion I'm feeling today after getting in post-2AM and waking up at 7is absolutely worth it, and will be every time.

Lazy resolutions

Winter Break To-Do:

1. Make office into usable room

1a. Get a floor lamp

2. Hit up after-Christmas candy sales

3. Make shepherd's pie (Mmm.)

4. Play with Sculpey

5. Help sister with college applications

6. Produce at least one piece of writing, goddammit!

As with all of my to-dos, who knows what will be accomplished from this, but I've tried to set the bar low enough to actually tempt me to step over it.

Also--Christmas is way less fun as a grown-up. However, despite yesterdays failures and frustrations, I did manage to produce a couple pans of reasonably festive red velvet cupcakes, which were only a tiny bit burnt on the bottom. After burning the crap out of my hand trying to relight the oven, of course. No pain, no gain.